I hurt a girl again

Is me. I come back here again. When you see my post from here, which mean something happen on me.

Many things happen on me in this year. I feel very down and it make feel like I should leave from this painful world. Maybe some of my friends will see my post here. No worry, I will be fined for a short while but I cannot guarantee for future.

I feel extremely down. I did hurt a girl again. I break my promise that I promised last year. A promise I made for myself. I learn from this lesson but it is a bit too late for me to know such feeling.

Maybe my thinking is different with others peoples.
Maybe I am not mutual enough.
Maybe I did not think deeply.

My brain is pain.
My heart is sad.
My soul is not with me.

I needs some support from my love and my friend. Please give me support.
I am very weak... very weak... I am worried that I cannot hold for very long.

I really love her... I really love her...

I hope I can be with her forever. She is such a nice girl. I love her everything.

I hope everything can go well.

Regards,
Gino Ooi  18/10/2015 00:00am

Past, present and future

I am not satisfied with my current living life style. Bored, nothing change, and keep doing the same things. Many of my friends had told me that I should not give up my ACCA examination due to only two papers left and they believe that I can do it well. However, I wish to stop my ACCA examination because there is no reason for me to continue.

After I work for a year in an small/medium audit firm, I feel that it is quite wasting my time to remain at there. I should move from there to another better and good company and environment. Maybe I should resign since March but it is too late now.

I wish to work in Singapore. Because it is a good place for me to learn more and earn more. I believe that Singapore may build up my career and make me become more independent. Can I just resign and try not to think anything?

The first step before you enter into working life or career is critically important. It may affect your future and the future employer. I learned something from past one year. But what I can do is trying to find a better place for me. Audit, I think I am not suitable to be an auditor even I already work for a year.

Time fly!! My birthday coming soon, I hope my wishes can come true this year that I had made two years ago.

Last but not least, I hope I can pass this time exam and find a good job in future time. Good luck and move forward to myself.



Gino Ooi 3/5/14

Unstable life

Recently I only realise I am lack of some finance skills. I feel that i always not enough money to use no matter how much I had earned. I love expensive things, this might be one of the reasons. Recently I just bought two high technology devices. I am regret why I bought those devices. What can I do with two devices? Cost > benefits...

I learned something after this. I would like to save more money even though It got a bit too late now. I swear I am not going to change my phone until my phone out of service. Save money for buying house, get marry and etc.

Recently my problem getting serious. I almost cannot control my emotional by scolding people with small matter. How come I become like this? Over pressure? Sicks? I also not sure. What I know now I try to stay away from peoples now. I need a personal space, I like quiet, I like to be alone. I do not know when it start to be like this situation. I hope I can find the answer. I was finding the answer for almost two years. Please, who can tell me the answer?

I am afraid to work in big firms. Not because of my ability but my healthy problem. I do not know I can stay for how long. I just try my best to fight until the days i cannot hold it anymore. I think the day is coming soon. I just need an important person to stand beside me and support me whatever I do.

Last but not least, I just expressed my negative feeling here to be more positive person in real life. I hope everyone who reading my blog just ignore what I was mentioned here.

Thanks

Gino 09/12/2013

Valentines day "again"

Valentines, couples, in the relationship, love, dinner, movie, and more appear on my Facebook and other social network. Normally this day I will hang out with my friends who is still single and gossip with them. But I am not going to hang out with anyone this year, I want to enjoy my whole day alone because I feel meaningless even I hang out with any friends.

The most important person today was working for whole days. She is working at florist and sending out many of flower to customer. But how about herself? At this moment I question myself, "should I send flowers to her?" or "just date her for dinner?"but at last I choose to stay at Oldtown White Coffee and update my blog.

The reason why I am here is because I afraid of something after I ended up my relationship last time. I totally do not have confident to chasing girl recently. I not dare tell the girl that I like her and date her now. I scare I will be rejected by her or we cannot be friend again. Maybe this is a common thing for guys, but this is different for me.

I am trying to fight with this in order to start with new relationship. But I has a question. Does any girls like the guy who is mature, handsome, rich, intelligence? Actually I should give myself more confident.

New year new hopes =)

The sadness birthday "again"

I still remember, every time when my birthday, I will feel emo and want to cry. It is mainly due to I had been born in this sadness world. I cannot get what I want in my birthday... Just a simple thing ... But, I still cannot get it from you all...

I really hope that I can stay happy forever. But I can't ! From last year onwards, I wish I want alone to pass my birthday. I only can feel better ...


Btw, thanks for your wishes!!! Really thanks in million!!!

Question mark

I had been long time didn't come back here to release my stress. My brain now full of question mark... I wish someone can tell me the answer....

Understanding
In one relationship, in my opinion, each of a couple may need to try to understand the other half needs and thinking. Some of them might think that be a boy must fully understand s girl and know what they are thinking. Some of girls might think that as a boy friend, he must always make a phone call to his girl friend every night. However, as a boy, sometime girls may not understand why a boy is not calling them every single night? There are due to some reasons such as, not much topics can say, only boy talk and girl just listen, boy might scare disturb girl, and some other reasons. I think that, we must stand on every people point of view to think about them, not just think for own.

Relationship
I may not is a good boy friend. I admit that. One of my friend told me today, "you don't understand me". It is the most funny answer I heard before. I hope to telling her what I am thinking right now. But she seen like very tired and tomorrow have a morning class. Not I don't understand you, is you didn't give me time to understand you. We are human, we cannot use few weeks time to fully understand a person. It needs some time to understand. But she really give me limited time and space to understand her. May be I am not suitable to have a relationship. Every times I got feeling on the other, there might have something to confuse my feeling and thinking. May be I am a negative thinker.

ACCA
For your information, I really no have mood to study my ACCA currently. Actually my health problem is one of my excuse that I try to escape from the reality. I have capability to complete my ACCA. But I feel dilemma now. Once I get a higher level certification, I might needs to handle more tuff tasks and responsibility, but with high salary. On the other hand, get a degree and work with relevant level tasks and more flexible. I may go for second choice because I feel better and in my range.

What should I actually do now? Actually I am looking for a girl who really have a same thinking with me. But where to find a girl like "her". who have better understanding on me in the world now. Should I be single forever? Should I continue my ACCA? Hope someone may leave comment here and tell me here.

The feeling is back

As the title, the feeling is back. I also don't know why those feeling will come back to find me. I lost the direction ... Actually who is the person I like now? May be I totally didn't like anyone. Just my last relationship made me confuse everything. How will be fine soon.

Good night...