I still remember, every time when my birthday, I will feel emo and want to cry. It is mainly due to I had been born in this sadness world. I cannot get what I want in my birthday... Just a simple thing ... But, I still cannot get it from you all...
I really hope that I can stay happy forever. But I can't ! From last year onwards, I wish I want alone to pass my birthday. I only can feel better ...
Btw, thanks for your wishes!!! Really thanks in million!!!
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Question mark
I had been long time didn't come back here to release my stress. My brain now full of question mark... I wish someone can tell me the answer....
Understanding
In one relationship, in my opinion, each of a couple may need to try to understand the other half needs and thinking. Some of them might think that be a boy must fully understand s girl and know what they are thinking. Some of girls might think that as a boy friend, he must always make a phone call to his girl friend every night. However, as a boy, sometime girls may not understand why a boy is not calling them every single night? There are due to some reasons such as, not much topics can say, only boy talk and girl just listen, boy might scare disturb girl, and some other reasons. I think that, we must stand on every people point of view to think about them, not just think for own.
Relationship
I may not is a good boy friend. I admit that. One of my friend told me today, "you don't understand me". It is the most funny answer I heard before. I hope to telling her what I am thinking right now. But she seen like very tired and tomorrow have a morning class. Not I don't understand you, is you didn't give me time to understand you. We are human, we cannot use few weeks time to fully understand a person. It needs some time to understand. But she really give me limited time and space to understand her. May be I am not suitable to have a relationship. Every times I got feeling on the other, there might have something to confuse my feeling and thinking. May be I am a negative thinker.
ACCA
For your information, I really no have mood to study my ACCA currently. Actually my health problem is one of my excuse that I try to escape from the reality. I have capability to complete my ACCA. But I feel dilemma now. Once I get a higher level certification, I might needs to handle more tuff tasks and responsibility, but with high salary. On the other hand, get a degree and work with relevant level tasks and more flexible. I may go for second choice because I feel better and in my range.
What should I actually do now? Actually I am looking for a girl who really have a same thinking with me. But where to find a girl like "her". who have better understanding on me in the world now. Should I be single forever? Should I continue my ACCA? Hope someone may leave comment here and tell me here.
Understanding
In one relationship, in my opinion, each of a couple may need to try to understand the other half needs and thinking. Some of them might think that be a boy must fully understand s girl and know what they are thinking. Some of girls might think that as a boy friend, he must always make a phone call to his girl friend every night. However, as a boy, sometime girls may not understand why a boy is not calling them every single night? There are due to some reasons such as, not much topics can say, only boy talk and girl just listen, boy might scare disturb girl, and some other reasons. I think that, we must stand on every people point of view to think about them, not just think for own.
Relationship
I may not is a good boy friend. I admit that. One of my friend told me today, "you don't understand me". It is the most funny answer I heard before. I hope to telling her what I am thinking right now. But she seen like very tired and tomorrow have a morning class. Not I don't understand you, is you didn't give me time to understand you. We are human, we cannot use few weeks time to fully understand a person. It needs some time to understand. But she really give me limited time and space to understand her. May be I am not suitable to have a relationship. Every times I got feeling on the other, there might have something to confuse my feeling and thinking. May be I am a negative thinker.
ACCA
For your information, I really no have mood to study my ACCA currently. Actually my health problem is one of my excuse that I try to escape from the reality. I have capability to complete my ACCA. But I feel dilemma now. Once I get a higher level certification, I might needs to handle more tuff tasks and responsibility, but with high salary. On the other hand, get a degree and work with relevant level tasks and more flexible. I may go for second choice because I feel better and in my range.
What should I actually do now? Actually I am looking for a girl who really have a same thinking with me. But where to find a girl like "her". who have better understanding on me in the world now. Should I be single forever? Should I continue my ACCA? Hope someone may leave comment here and tell me here.
Friday, April 6, 2012
The feeling is back
As the title, the feeling is back. I also don't know why those feeling will come back to find me. I lost the direction ... Actually who is the person I like now? May be I totally didn't like anyone. Just my last relationship made me confuse everything. How will be fine soon.
Good night...
Good night...
Friday, March 30, 2012
New Chapter
I had been long time no update my blog. It is because recently busy with my study and use those free time for entertainment and rest. Yesterday one of my friend ask my why I no upload my blog for a long time? I just can answer her "I will update tomorrow". :) I am not a good storyteller, and not good in language, but I will try my best to write a good story.
Everyone might want to know I like who. It is a good question, but I don't know the answer. Previously I was fall in love with someone, I guess half of my class already know who is she, just the "lucky" person don't know. One day, she came and answer me, "you like who?". I was so surprised that she will ask me this question, I don't know I should tell her the answer or keep in my heart. I already give her a lot of tips. One of the tips is "all the classmate already know, just you don't know." Do you know the answer? haha. She totally don't know. I asked myself a lot of question before such as "Am I really like her? or wrong feeling", "she very good, but how about she think about me?", "will we have a lot of gap after in the relationship?" and more. Some of you may think that I don't have confident on myself. No, I just want a stable and true love relationship, I don't want have a unstable relationship. So I had given up on her, it take some times to recover. Previous relationship has given me a lot of negative impact, so I needs to consider all the factors before start a relationship.
I met two girls in this years, both of them currently in KL. One of them is my dream girl, I really enjoy when I together with her, no pressure and happy. Her hobby almost same like me such as watching movie, jogging, like watch, and others. But she also same like me, just ended her relationship last year and not yet ready for a brand new relationship. I will wait, I will spend my time to wait her. I feel worth it, because I like her a lot. I seldom go to find her chat because I scare I will disturb her. She busying with her assignment and preparing for presentation and exam. Normally I will find her at night because she will online at night. Last time I went to KL for 3 days 2 nights. What the purpose I been there? Of course is to see her. Before I go to KL, she ask me " are you purposely come to KL to find me?". I say "no, just want to release my stress". Aikss, I am so stupid to answer with that answer. Super regret and want to tell her the right answer. haha. Even I only can meet her for 6 hours I feel already enough. We go to Pavilion Mall to watch a movie name "This Mean War". I had never really enjoy a movie for a long time, but this time, I don't know why very enjoy with the movie. Of course, I got "curi-curi" aim her in the cinema la. haha. After the movie we went to KLCC and back to her hostel. Very tired, but I am not willing to go home because I have to wait for a long time to see her again. haiz… That's all for the first day in KL. Actually I still got some secret about her cannot write in here, if want to know please feel free to PM me. haha
Another girls? Also a nice girl. Tall, pretty girl, talkative person, active person and intelligent person. I just talk with her once during my diploma life. But she still hang out with me when I was in KL for second day. Meet with a stranger, how dare she is! Maybe I have given her a good first impression in diploma life. she really a nice girl, never hidden her characteristic. She talk more than I talk. She also like technology things, anime, and games. Besides, she take care of more rather that I take care of her. OMG! I know she like social life. She is still single for a long time. She said "hard to find a tall guys in KL". lol. She is a really nice girl!!! super nice!!! I like her so much!!! but no feeling. lol.
Am I 花心？ maybe lo. :P
Everyone might want to know I like who. It is a good question, but I don't know the answer. Previously I was fall in love with someone, I guess half of my class already know who is she, just the "lucky" person don't know. One day, she came and answer me, "you like who?". I was so surprised that she will ask me this question, I don't know I should tell her the answer or keep in my heart. I already give her a lot of tips. One of the tips is "all the classmate already know, just you don't know." Do you know the answer? haha. She totally don't know. I asked myself a lot of question before such as "Am I really like her? or wrong feeling", "she very good, but how about she think about me?", "will we have a lot of gap after in the relationship?" and more. Some of you may think that I don't have confident on myself. No, I just want a stable and true love relationship, I don't want have a unstable relationship. So I had given up on her, it take some times to recover. Previous relationship has given me a lot of negative impact, so I needs to consider all the factors before start a relationship.
I met two girls in this years, both of them currently in KL. One of them is my dream girl, I really enjoy when I together with her, no pressure and happy. Her hobby almost same like me such as watching movie, jogging, like watch, and others. But she also same like me, just ended her relationship last year and not yet ready for a brand new relationship. I will wait, I will spend my time to wait her. I feel worth it, because I like her a lot. I seldom go to find her chat because I scare I will disturb her. She busying with her assignment and preparing for presentation and exam. Normally I will find her at night because she will online at night. Last time I went to KL for 3 days 2 nights. What the purpose I been there? Of course is to see her. Before I go to KL, she ask me " are you purposely come to KL to find me?". I say "no, just want to release my stress". Aikss, I am so stupid to answer with that answer. Super regret and want to tell her the right answer. haha. Even I only can meet her for 6 hours I feel already enough. We go to Pavilion Mall to watch a movie name "This Mean War". I had never really enjoy a movie for a long time, but this time, I don't know why very enjoy with the movie. Of course, I got "curi-curi" aim her in the cinema la. haha. After the movie we went to KLCC and back to her hostel. Very tired, but I am not willing to go home because I have to wait for a long time to see her again. haiz… That's all for the first day in KL. Actually I still got some secret about her cannot write in here, if want to know please feel free to PM me. haha
Another girls? Also a nice girl. Tall, pretty girl, talkative person, active person and intelligent person. I just talk with her once during my diploma life. But she still hang out with me when I was in KL for second day. Meet with a stranger, how dare she is! Maybe I have given her a good first impression in diploma life. she really a nice girl, never hidden her characteristic. She talk more than I talk. She also like technology things, anime, and games. Besides, she take care of more rather that I take care of her. OMG! I know she like social life. She is still single for a long time. She said "hard to find a tall guys in KL". lol. She is a really nice girl!!! super nice!!! I like her so much!!! but no feeling. lol.
Am I 花心？ maybe lo. :P
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
情人节前夕
情人节就快要到了，跟往年不一样，但跟以往一样， 又在一个人过了。
也好，不像往年那样，还嘚烦恼要做些什么，送些什么东西。
我不是一个浪漫的人，所以情人节对我来说是一个很大的考验。
还好今天不用费心思去想这么多， 轻轻松松的过情人节就好了。
但是又不想平凡的过，想找一个特别的人陪我度过， 但怕人家会觉得我怪怪的，
毕竟只是我在单恋她人。
我决定放下了， 不再去找她聊天了，即使她来找我，我会特地的说几句就结束了我们的对话。
我还是不适合她，而却她渐渐地失去我喜欢她的优点和她本身的性格吧。 我不是她的家人和很熟的人，我没资格去批评她所做的一切， 只是觉得心疼而已。我再次喜欢上一个跟她不可能会有好结局的人，因为我们是不同世界的人。虽然她的思想跟我的差不多一样，但是兴趣上还是有所不同。
我从上一段感情学了很多东西，
我不会在为爱一个人， 而强迫自己做不喜欢的东西，不照顾自己，勉强自己，和给自己太大的压力。 我牺牲了很多的机会和自己所喜欢的东西，非常的后悔。我的头疼一次比一次来得更加疼，我不想在受这些折磨了。。。真的好辛苦。我知道，只有找到合适的人，才会幸福美满。
新年的某一天，我去了一个陌生的地方拜年和探望朋友， 我听了她的故事， 觉得我的经历和她所遭遇的很相同，感到很感触。她真的是个很好很好的女生，成熟又贴心的女生，好后悔当初放弃追求她（想过）。哈哈，不要在提以往的事了。 往前看吧。 希望今年的情人节会充满美好的回忆~
Thursday, February 2, 2012
the first day of February
I try to suspect myself, all the time, since two months ago until now. Am I really like her? or just a wrong feeling? i try to ask myself hardly every night or when I saw her on Facebook or other communication channel. Maybe I just admire her, she look nicer, or some other reasons. She really is my dream girl, not totally but almost. I keep telling myself "hey, she 100% will not falling in love with you, why you still like her so much, just give up man". However, in real world really hard to achieve, even though i try to avoid her or try not to find her chatting, but my heart really cannot control when I saw her online.
She is much thinner compared with last time. I don't know why she feel that she is fat, not enough thin. For me, she is considered over thin especially her face. Last time look better and healthy.
I will try to forget her start from today. Hope she don't want to find me on FB... If not, the feeling will not away from my mind.
In my heart, I really hope that she can be my girl friend, seriously. But reality it is impossible. Not I do not have confident on myself, just feel that I am not her type. Even how hard I put afford on her, there is no perfect ending. I know, I know, some of you may think that if you never try it, you will never know the answer. But my six sense told me the reality. My six sense always accurate.
Before internship or before apply internship jobs, I already know what will happen after my internship, either break up, or trust between each other will be affected. Ya, both also happened. Her mom told me that, " if you can hold until after internship, everything will be alright". After she told me that sentence, I really want to tell her something, but I did not. Even I can hold until after internship, the things were already happen, cannot be removed or recovered, our trust already broke, how hard i try to rescue is already too late, too late... and our future perspective is totally different, I cannot always follow her opinion, I try to voice out my opinion, but she did not listen, keep following her thinking. May be herself did not release. My headache and dizzy become more and more serious and the pressure more and more heavy. It is because she already forgot what I told her before we in the relationship, what I want, and what she want. Just after a year, she totally change her mind set, she just do not know. What she said, what she do, what she tell me, which is important for me, I remembered all. But she forgot all. But everyone got her limitation, may be she not good in remember those "non-value added" memory. But as a bf, his heart really feel pain. He may ask himself, "she really love you or not?" or "she just needs a person to take care about her only"?
To be continued~
why I wrote this? It is because I still care about her. Still cannot put down all but I already can put down 80%. And I try to tell my friends who are reviewing my blog, I am alright, just still got some emo. :)
I will try to search my real dream girl in future and change myself, I promised :)
She is much thinner compared with last time. I don't know why she feel that she is fat, not enough thin. For me, she is considered over thin especially her face. Last time look better and healthy.
I will try to forget her start from today. Hope she don't want to find me on FB... If not, the feeling will not away from my mind.
In my heart, I really hope that she can be my girl friend, seriously. But reality it is impossible. Not I do not have confident on myself, just feel that I am not her type. Even how hard I put afford on her, there is no perfect ending. I know, I know, some of you may think that if you never try it, you will never know the answer. But my six sense told me the reality. My six sense always accurate.
Before internship or before apply internship jobs, I already know what will happen after my internship, either break up, or trust between each other will be affected. Ya, both also happened. Her mom told me that, " if you can hold until after internship, everything will be alright". After she told me that sentence, I really want to tell her something, but I did not. Even I can hold until after internship, the things were already happen, cannot be removed or recovered, our trust already broke, how hard i try to rescue is already too late, too late... and our future perspective is totally different, I cannot always follow her opinion, I try to voice out my opinion, but she did not listen, keep following her thinking. May be herself did not release. My headache and dizzy become more and more serious and the pressure more and more heavy. It is because she already forgot what I told her before we in the relationship, what I want, and what she want. Just after a year, she totally change her mind set, she just do not know. What she said, what she do, what she tell me, which is important for me, I remembered all. But she forgot all. But everyone got her limitation, may be she not good in remember those "non-value added" memory. But as a bf, his heart really feel pain. He may ask himself, "she really love you or not?" or "she just needs a person to take care about her only"?
To be continued~
why I wrote this? It is because I still care about her. Still cannot put down all but I already can put down 80%. And I try to tell my friends who are reviewing my blog, I am alright, just still got some emo. :)
I will try to search my real dream girl in future and change myself, I promised :)
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
我怎么了2~
我最近这么了，特别想一个人，但是又不敢找她聊天
看到她上线也只是在旁边的看着，不主动的去找她~
为什么呢？ 我也不知道。。。有可能我累了~~
她对我来说是一个很特别的人，有时候看她笑，我也不知不觉的也笑了起来
她伤心或不开心的时候，我的心情也会低落。。。
在考试的期间，她很不开心，我得知后的那个晚上，我担心到不能睡觉
一直的在想她会不会有事，好想陪她。。。 但是她也需要一些时间来安定下来，所以我选择了跟她说我要睡了。。。搞到我没心读书。。。哈哈。 过了几天看到她真人的时候， 看得出来她还是很不开心，可是至少我还能看到她笑得出来，我才勉强放下心头石。。。
但是我这一辈子都不会告诉她我的心意，毕竟我还是没那个勇气在开始另一段感情了。。。
我真的好害怕，好害怕。。。 希望我在近期内会好转。。。
哈哈。。。 希望吧~
P.S:don't simply guess who is she, you might be wrong :p
看到她上线也只是在旁边的看着，不主动的去找她~
为什么呢？ 我也不知道。。。有可能我累了~~
她对我来说是一个很特别的人，有时候看她笑，我也不知不觉的也笑了起来
她伤心或不开心的时候，我的心情也会低落。。。
在考试的期间，她很不开心，我得知后的那个晚上，我担心到不能睡觉
一直的在想她会不会有事，好想陪她。。。 但是她也需要一些时间来安定下来，所以我选择了跟她说我要睡了。。。搞到我没心读书。。。哈哈。 过了几天看到她真人的时候， 看得出来她还是很不开心，可是至少我还能看到她笑得出来，我才勉强放下心头石。。。
但是我这一辈子都不会告诉她我的心意，毕竟我还是没那个勇气在开始另一段感情了。。。
我真的好害怕，好害怕。。。 希望我在近期内会好转。。。
哈哈。。。 希望吧~
P.S:don't simply guess who is she, you might be wrong :p
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